Keep Austin Weird

I am fully prepared to recite the Stoops Prayer, say 50 Hail Switzers, and sing Boomer Sooner multiple times as penance for my crime because I know that I am committing a cardinal sin against the sooner nation by saying that I love Austin.  Despite it being the Longhorn Capital of the world and home to some of the world’s most obnoxious college football fans, it is an awesome City. 

“Keep Austin Weird” is the community slogan and no one seems to have to try that hard to make it happen.  Austin is a paradox and maybe I like it so much because it reflects my own personality and interests. It is an eclectic mix of academia, government, rural, urban, commercialism, independence, sports, music, hippies, businessmen, cowboys and artists.   It amazes me that so many different ideas, cultures, philosophies and socioeconomic standings work together to create one colorful community.  In the same restaurant, it is not uncommon to see the cleanest most conservative businessman tables away from an unkempt, free-spirited hippie while a genuine cowboy waits to get a seat.   This is reflected in the shops, the art, and the music scene as well.  I am lucky to have family in the area so it gives my wife and me an excuse to go down there several times a year. 

We took a long weekend last week and went down with some friends to participate in the Austin Marathon.  It felt like we were back in college.  There were six of us going, so we did the most logical thing to do for six adults who have college degrees and good jobs – we shoved ourselves into one vehicle and crammed into one hotel room to save money!  It might as well have been spring break 1999 when 22 of us piled into a 20 person van for a 20 hour road trip to Florida. 

The ride to Austin was filled with loud music, bad jokes, road games and lots of pit stops.  We determined that the passenger in the front had to be the part time DJ, navigator, and full-time Wikipedia resource.  Anytime someone had a question or wondered about a rumor, it had to be confirmed via the Wikipedia iPhone app.  With all of the goofing off and traffic, we barely arrived at the fitness expo in time to pick up our race packets and visit the vendors. 

The rest of the evening was pretty subdued.  We all had to run the next day  and the pre-race jitters had started to set in.  We met up with my sister-in-law and future brother-in-law and ate at a mom and pop Italian restaurant in one of the suburbs so that we could all use “carb loading” as an excuse to pig out on pasta.   We got back to the hotel room and everyone laid out what they would need for their race the next morning and went to bed.  Between other people snoring (you know who you are) and the thoughts of the big race the next day, it was a bit of a restless night.  I finally drifted off to sleep and woke up to the sound of my alarm at 4:45.  I intentionally set my alarm notification to “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley so that I could “Rickroll” everyone in the room to start our day.   If you don’t know what” Rickrolling” is, then you really have to look it up here:   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling 

 I went through my normal pre-race routine – breakfast finished two hours before the race, coffee an hour and a half before the race and at least five trips to the bathroom.  We were extremely fortunate to get one of the last rooms at the host hotel, so the starting line was literally two blocks away.  We left with about twenty minutes until the start of the race and took our places among the appropriate pace groups. 

When the gun goes off for a race like this, it is one of those moments that seem to happen in slow motion.  There is a wave of emotion, exhilaration, and relief that is hard to explain.  It produces a burst of adrenaline that will carry you through a significant portion of the race.  The excitement is so high that you have to be extremely careful not to start to quickly which will cause you to burn out later on in the race. With 21,000 people in the event I knew that it would take a while to cross the starting line and begin to run, so I took that walk to focus and grit my teeth for the more than four and a half hours of running that awaited me.

 I made a special playlist for the marathon and as soon as the gun went off, I hit play.  Johnny Cash’s dark and powerful “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” really got me focused as I prepared to take those first steps past the starting line.  I strategically placed songs throughout the playlist that would give me the emotional support or boost that I needed at certain points of the race.  A race like this is an emotional roller coaster.  There is excitement, focus, dread, depression, hope, and the exuberance all rolled into one event.  I actually think the mental aspect of a marathon is harder than the physical aspect. 

The race was fun.  It was hot, it was windy, and the hills were brutal, but it was fun.  I felt great for most of the race, but the hills did start to wear me down.  They say that the half-way point for a marathon physically is mile 20 and that seemed about right for this race.  I got some much needed encouragement from my wife and friends at mile 22 and even called my parents to chat during some of the doldrums of the run.  By the time I reached the final few miles, some of which passed through the University of Texas Campus, I was even too tired to show the downward horns to all of those evil UT fans.   The last half mile was awesome.  There was a nice downhill portion that seemed to say “Finish strong, you are almost there.”  I was overcome with emotion as I knew the event was almost over. Tears of excitement welled up in my eyes as I turned the last corner and saw the finish line just 200 yards away.  I used every last bit of energy I had to sprint to the finish and pass as many people as I could along the way.  The relief, the sense of accomplishment and the elation was surreal; it almost felt like I was out of my body watching it from above.  Of course, then I came back to reality and felt like I was going to puke – but hey, you take the good with the bad.  I finished about 11 minutes slower than I had hoped, but that doesn’t really matter to me because the joy of this experience was truly the journey – not the finish. 

The rest of the trip was a blast.  We went to all the assorted shops, tried different varieties of food from mobile food vendors and really took in all the City had to offer.  We ate BBQ, Tex-Mex and saw several bands.  We kept it pretty local and organic with the exception of twice-daily trips to Starbucks.  It was the perfect mix of activities with and was a great trip.  We ran, we laughed, we ate, and we explored.  Despite its one burnt orange flaw, Austin is one of the coolest Cities I have ever seen but the experience was made great by having great friends and family to share it with.  My legs are still sore and my stomach is still full – but I think it is already time to start thinking about another race and the next adventure. 

My Very Own Mustache

All of my life, I have been impressed by the majestic being that is the mustache.  A full, glorious mustache demands respect,  it is a sign of manliness, and usually an indication that the person is employed by a agency whose duty is to uphold the law.  Ah yes, the mustache with its many shapes, sizes, and designs. 

I have never been able to grow a mustache.  You see, Muellers are relatively hairless creatures that have to make their way through the world without the power of the mustache to help propel them along.  To say that this is a handicap is an understatement.  Never have I been able to enjoy the fulfillment of perfectly designed facial manscaping. 

Recently, a once in a lifetime opportunity presented itself that would allow me to live my dream and have my very own mustache!  The program was called “Rent a Stache” and this ingenious idea was a fundraiser put in place by a friend to raise money for LIVESTRONG.  My friend had been growing his facial hair for months to provide a full canvas to work with and the person who contributed the most to his LIVESTRONG account got to design the facial hair. 

Knowing that it would take a hefty sum of money to win such a coveted prize, I teamed up with my wife and another friend so we could pool our resources and come away with sweet, sweet victory.   The final hours of the competition were fierce as there were many people vying for the right to rent the stache, but we walked away triumphant.  Now the real work began.  With such an opportunity in front of us – how would we design our work of art? 

After careful consideration, my partners and I engineered the perfect blueprint. The mustache itself is designed in standard handlebar fashion.  On the chin, we chose to go with a skinny goatee with beads added to the end.  I am particularly proud of our creativity involving the sideburns.    They are to be Elvis style mutton chops with double spikes. 

The trip to Austin is this weekend and it will be the first time that we get to see our conception come to life.  While I may still not have the ability to grow much more than a five o’clock shadow, I now have the next best thing. 

Excuse me sir, you have some feathers stuck in your teeth.

My good friend had one and only request for his birthday this year, and that was to go the Ozzy Osbourn concert in Tulsa.  I haven’t been a huge Ozzy fan since I was a kid, but it was a great chance to see one of the big artists that I have never seen in concert.  I still remember back in the early 90’s when Ozzy was on the “No More Tours” tour.   I vividly recall sitting at Pizza Hut begging my mom to take me to the concert, saying “This is his last tour, if I don’t see him now, I never will.”  I couldn’t believe she didn’t want to take me!  She grew up in the era of Black Sabbath and loved “Fairies Wear Boots,” so this should have been a shared interest.  Well, apparently it wasn’t, so no concert for me and I had to come to terms with the fact that I will never see the rock icon. Obviously, almost twenty years later, he is still touring and the “No More Tours” tour was not the last one.  There have been many of the “this is my last tour” statements from several bands, but I think Ozzy is the one who started the trend.  It is a great marketing ploy, but it rarely sticks. 

The concert was a great experience.  An added bonus was that Slash was the opening act.  I went to a lot of concerts when I was a kid, but Guns and Roses is another big band that I didn’t get to see.  Since Guns and Roses isn’t really Guns and Roses anymore and Axl seems to be so far off the deep end that a real reunion will never happened, Slash is the next best thing.  He had Myles Kennedy touring with him as his singer and it was awesome.  Kennedy sang the Guns and Roses songs perfectly – in fact, his vocal range probably far exceeds what Axl has at this point.  Slash was great, he played a mix of solo songs, Guns and Roses songs, and even a Velvet Revolver tune.  The highlight was “Sweet Child O' Mine.”  Hearing Slash play that song live was unbelievable.  There are not any guitarists that can imitate his sound, and that is one of the greatest guitar songs ever written. 

Ozzy was great as well.  He opened with “Bark at the Moon,” and his voice wasn’t very strong.  I thought it was going to be another concert of seeing an aging artist with an awesome band, but significantly mixed down vocals.  I run into that a lot with the bands I see because most of the bands I like are from another generation.  After the first song; however, he sounded great – surprisingly so for a 62 year old.  The set list was good and other than “No More Tears” he played all of the songs that I hoped to hear.  For me, the highlight was “War Pigs.”  It started out with air raid sirens and had really creepy imagery of World War II footage playing on the big screen behind the band during the song.  If my mom would have been there, she would have been pleased because they did play “Fairies Wear Boots.” 

Ozzy’s stage presence was kind of funny; he jumped around a lot and at times, seemed to be doing calisthenics.  He loved shooting the crowd with a fire hose, which probably made for some interesting walks back to the parking garage in the single digit weather.  He also dunked his head in a bucket of water after almost every song and played the entire show sopping wet.  It was all in good fun and he still looked like he enjoyed every minute on stage.  It was a great show and a great experience. 

Old Man Winter is a................

So it is in Oklahoma that winter decides to come on full force during the time of year when all sane people have had all of the barren landscape and desolate temperatures that they can stand.  Old Man Winter’s gift last week was the second most significant blizzard in the state’s history.  What a joy! 

I used to love the snow when I was younger because it usually meant a reprieve from the oppressive hand of the educational system.  In fact, I credit a significant snow storm that occurred during my junior year in college for some great grades because all of my finals got cancelled.  However, as an adult, snow and ice causes everything in my professional life to become chaos.  Winter weather is a phenomenon that every city manager fears!   Whenever it is present, the roads have to be cleared, motorists have to be helped, and fires have to be put out.  This week certainly lived up to the hype.  The public works crews spent every day clearing the roads (which were the best in the area by the way – my guys ROCK!) the police department had to round up any available four wheel drives to make it through the snow drifts, and one of the worst structure fires in decades occurred (more than likely the result of a wood burning stove).      

Needless to say, it caused a lot of work.  All I really wanted to do was strap on my snowboard and tie a ski rope to the Police Department’s T-Rex (the T-Rex is an all terrain vehicle that was generously loaned to the Guthrie PD to break up any shenanigans that may be occurring in the woods at one of our lakes) and have the Police Chief pull me through the streets of Guthrie.  Fortunately, my better judgment shined through because that probably would have been frowned uponJ.  We did spend a lot of time in the chief’s truck helping stranded motorists and observing which roads were passable and which ones weren’t. 

By Wednesday, I was tired of being cooped up and really needed to get a run in since the marathon is just around the corner.  Since the YMCA was closed due to weather, I decided to brave to frigid air and test fate.  I threw on more clothes than I think I have ever worn including four pair of pants, two pair of socks, two shirts, two hats, two pair of gloves, a face warmer, and a coat.  I must have added at least 100 pound to my weight.  I only slipped once and thankfully didn’t fall.  I did break the record for my coldest run as it was 8 degrees and my previous best was 18.  I went seven miles and it really wasn’t too bad. 

Saturday’s run was another story.  It was my last long run in preparation for the marathon and I had to do at least 20.  I decided I was going to try and run at Mitch Park and the Coffee Creek Trail in Edmond.  I had to leave my trusty running partner Toby Dogg at home because I just didn’t think his little paws could handle four hours of snow and ice. Even though he whined and whimpered, I knew it was the best.  He is still kind of pouting about it and gives me the stink eye any time he looks my way. 

 The run was one of the most difficult runs I have ever experienced.  The trails were still covered in snow so I spent the first five miles high stepping before I got to the neighborhood roads in Coffee Creek.  This just sucked the energy out of me and I felt like I had run double the amount that I had.  The Coffee Creek roads weren’t too bad until it started to warm up and the ice turned to slush and started filling my shoes with wet, frosty misery.  I toughed it out until mile 15 and then packed up and went to the Y to finish the adventure.  That was a wise decision and I ended up going a total of 23.3 miles which is the second farthest I have ever run. 

I realize that I didn’t really have it that bad.  I didn’t get stuck, I didn’t lose electricity, none of my family had an accident, and I wasn’t stuck in my house.  Nonetheless, I wish to give Old Man Winter a nice send off with a one finger salute because the groundhog did not see his shadow and that means it is time for an early spring.  Stay Warm!