Them is Some Fancy Shoes

One of the many exciting things about training for a marathon is the ability to get new shoes on a frequent basis.  The shoes that a runner chooses – excuse me, the shoes that choose a runner are of great importance to the success of any race or training schedule.  They are a key element of success, not only to provide the unique support needed for one's running style, but to ensure that a runner looks his or her best when they are out there putting in the miles.  After all, everyone knows that the key to being a successful runner has nothing to do with hard work, training, or God given ability; it is all about how snazzy you look when you are out there.  If you look good enough during a race, you will intimidate the other runners who won’t dare to pass you, hence you will place high in your age group. 

Last week, it was time for me to replace my worn out shoes with some new ones since they reached the 400 mile mark.  My mind raced with excitement as  I went to my favorite running outlet to see what type of color selection awaited me on this year’s model of the Asics Gel Kayanos.  These are the shoes that choose me over 3 years ago and I have stuck with them ever since.  They have seen me through countless run events, triathlons, trail runs and workouts but never have they given me the gift which awaited me on that day. 

One of the color selections on the Kayano 17s was black on black! Immediately, I pictured myself cutting through the early morning darkness of the Austin Marathon with my black shoes, black running shorts and black tech shirt.  I would be a ninja slicing through the crowded streets on my way to eternal glory.  The anticipation that I felt waiting for the UPS man to deliver my secret weapon was almost too much to bear. 

On the day of scheduled arrival, I clicked the tracking number many, many times so that I may snatch the shoes from my porch before anyone got word of their arrival and attempted to take them for themselves.  At the end of the day, the tracker said “delivered – front porch.”   Oh, I hurried home, unwrapped the package to find them staring up at me just begging me to put them on and go for a run.  How could I resist???

I put on all of the black running clothes I could find and laced my shoes up for the first time.  Oh, the feeling of them on my feet – how they cradled my ankle made every step feel like I was walking on a cloud.  I walked – no I STRUTTED into the computer room to model them to my wife.  I was so proud, I just knew that she would jump out of her chair to embrace me because my manliness and secret agent style would be irresistible to any normal woman.  I prepared myself to fight her off so she could get in the way of my run when she looked over at me. 

At first I thought I heard the gasps of disbelief of being married to a man with such style and debonair, but no!  It was laughing.  I was in shock as between her chuckles she told me that my shoes were the ugliest thing she had ever seen and that they looked like non-skid shoes that you buy at Wal Mart. 

I was in spechless– I have always considered my wife to be a woman of good taste and style.  Apparently not!  Apparently, she does not realize true beauty when she sees it.  It is a good thing that I can ignore these shortcomings or it might cause problems in our marriage. 

Despite her poor taste, the shoes met every expectation that I had.  The only question now is whether or not I should run with my samurai sword during my ninja runs.  Who knows, I might need it to fend off all of the normal people who would stop at nothing to take my awesome shoes!